aurora borealis I wish. If only. One day. Today I am mostly wanting to be not here now.

9.12.05 21:58 Permalink / comment

chapter 18 - gwendoline And on the theme of storecupboard edibles... One of the chief drawbacks of tesco internet shopping is that you can't see what you're buying. Hence the last few weeks' minor errors of value frozen meat, tinned thai sauce instead of jarred, 2 kilos of natural yogurt and one very small turnip. Today saw the arrival of "Gwendoline," the ginger dragon. It seems that the default setting (which you can adjust: I didn't) for ginger root (costing 72p) is a vast beastie measuring 15 inches (not including wingspan) - that is approximately 37.5cm. That is a LOT of ginger. Ps Jason says that Gwendoline sounds like gasoline; but the name was his idea. It's the name of his mum's car. These funny welsh people, I don't know.

15.11.05 12:49 Permalink / comment

chapter 17 - figs FIG is such a very wonderful word. Has anyone else noticed this? And oh, figgy figgy pudding, think of all that that makes you think of...

14.11.05 23:26 Permalink / 2 Comments / comment

chapter 13 - Beth Today I was thinking about my sister again. When I look at her photo and see her eyes it feels like my heart sinks out of me, like something has slipped from my hand. Tomorrow is her anniversary, it will be nineteen years. It still hurts. I feel like she isstill there, somewhere, hiding. If only I could find her again.

29.10.05 01:16 Permalink / 1 Comment / comment

chapter 11 - request This is what I feel like saying sometimes: Please don't try and solve me, I am not a conundrum. I wonder why.

20.10.05 20:27 Permalink / 3 Comments / comment

chapter 10 - hills Yesterday I accidentally cycled to Fulbourne. Whoops. This is only eleven miles return* but it was still a bit of an error because the Gog and Magog hills where I was trying to get to are only 3 miles away. But I found lots of interesting places, open space, a windmill and a nice hill covered in stubble which I went to sit on. I sang while I cycled, whirled about a lot listening to music and lay watching the sky for a long time; it made me feel little again. I think this is what joy feels like, I haven't felt that inside breathing feeling so deeply before. Or not for a long time, anyway. * (I know this because I worked it out on this very useful website http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/ which is brilliant if you like running a lot which I do)

19.10.05 09:57 Permalink / 1 Comment / comment

chapter 9 - fiesta Today was our housewarming party. The house feels a lot warmer now…  And slowly it is quiet again. I just smoked my first cigar and my throat tastes of burnt toast.

16.10.05 01:30 Permalink / 2 Comments / comment

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